KIPPFEST PRESENTEERD!

 

HURTLING through the infiniteness which is SPACE... Coming and creaping closer in, a MYSTERIOUS object... What STRANGE VISITOR does this SPACESHIP HARNESS?? Destination: EARTH...
WHAT COMPELLING MESSAGEWILL THIS VISITOR DELIVER??? WILL IT BE… ATOMIC???

1

The SPACESHIP LANDS. The door opens. A glowing VORTEX, the silhouette of a man... Welcomed by the hastily formed  INTERGALACTIC WELCOMING SPACE COMMITTEE.

2


"Greetings and welcome to EARTH!" the committee salutes, "WHO are YOU? WHERE have you come FROM??"

"Hello, I'm the man from spacetime," the visitor EXCLAIMED.
"BUT... WHY
have you chosen to visit US??"

"I've come to collect the DEBT..."
"What DEBT??"
"The DEBT you owe the FUTURE!!"
"...WHAT!?"

3

"Look, you borrowed money on the premise you'd pay it back after you made a PROFIT. But then you'd use the profits to lend more money which only existed in complex ATOMIC FORMULAS derived by crazy SCIENTISTS hocking the future. Every time THOSE zany goons goofed up, your government BAILED you OUT by piling it on a national debt so HUGE you could never pay it off in your LIFETIMES. Consequently, you got into debt with the future- you used money only the FUTURE would HAVE. It's ours. And now we want it BACK. Pay up!"

4

"You want... MONEY??"
"More than that, I'm afraid. You borrowed more than you could possibly ever hope to pay. I guess that's why you started borrowing from the future to begin with. No, I've come to sequestrate the collaterals."
"To what the what?"
"SEIZE the PROPERTY. All right Bob, bring in the truck. GENTLY DOES IT."
"PROPERTY? What PROPERTY?"
"Earth. Look I'm sorry- I'm with you guys. Everybody back home is. We're just under orders. See, we couldn't pay back OUR future when THEY came to COLLECT- so we now need to, you know, liquidate our ASSETS. And our earth alone just won't do you see. Maybe the two of them will just about cut it."
"What are you TALKING about?? Leave those houses ALONE!!"

5

"Yeah well we took hocking the future to an extreme, I'm afraid. Sucked up our earths resources, figured OUR future would solve that PROBLEM. It kinda didn't, so now we got nothing but this BIG ball of DUST. It just won't do."
"Tell your future NO!! It's WRONG!! You can't STEAL a PLANET!!"
"The proper term is to confiscate, sir. No, they made quite an urgent demand for payment of our debts. You see, they don't HAVE a planet momentarily. It's kind of gone."
"GONE?"

6


"Gone. Used up. Hence the urgency, yes. They took hocking the future to the UTMOST EXTREME. In space no one can hear you SCREAM, let alone have a civil discussion concerning the pros and cons of taking away an earth from PEOPLE FROM THE PAST for the SAKE of the FUTURE. So they urged for direct payment, and they are in their full right of course. It's their STUFF. We borrowed it from them. So if you don't mind, I'd like to cut the planet up in little chunks and transport it back for payment to THE FUTURE."

7

"You just can't DO that!!" he cried.
"Dude I have the court order here, signed by the bailiff, here, here... And there. We already have the men coming in to evict you. Please try to maintain some measure of composure and dignity, all right?"

"You are TAKING our PLANET!! OUR HOME!!"
"You BORROWED from the future! Look, I'm sorry but that's like borrowing money from the mafia and blowing it on hookers! You could've known that ONE DAY time travel would be invented and you definitely shouldn't have borrowed more than you can pay!
Without a contract, even... You know, we aren't allowed to change the past when we travel through time, but surely you MUST agree that ANY judge would take our side in this matter? This is not changing the past, this is invoking our RIGHTS!
YOU went to business with US!! Harry, take that mountain up there to the truck. Careful with those trees Bob.
Besides, we'll have to cut up our planet too. You're not the only ones to suffer in this, you know. Just take comfort in the thought that at least we'd clear our debt with a now much brighter future. SMALLER THEM PIECES OF WHALES DAVE, AND MAKE EM SQUARE TO FIT THAT TRUCK!!"

8

 



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